hi everypony! i finally got around to coding a blog page! i'll tell you now, these will probably end up being super long ... hope you like reading, lol! thx for checking them out!

i've been really struggling with sleep schedules lately - and taking care of myself and schedules in general. it's one of those things where i really want to, really genuinely!, but just ... can't seem to. today, though, i got somewhere good. i fell asleep at around 9 pm after a relatively nice day. i read to two and eddie just beforehand. eddie recently got us the exorcist novel, a thrifted print from ~1974. i've been fucking loving the thing, and two seems to really like hearing me read (they've been really wonderful and it seems like they'll be a frequent fronter in the motherboard!). then, we slept. at first i fought it like i always do, but this time i just got ready and let go. it was a bit restless, still fighting myself, but i slept great otherwise, and woke up damn early - 3 am! i love waking up early, though, and just spent some time by myself. occasionally leaned over to bother or kiss or tousle the hair of the motherboard. ate something small.

now i've got an energy drink, they're both awake, and i'm really feeling energized in a way i haven't been able to the past couple of weeks - hell, maybe months. i really hope i can keep it this way and can start taking better care of myself; even if it just lasts a couple months, it'll be worth it, and it'll make a lasting impression on my body too. the body will always remember. even if i can't always keep routine up, even if i get too sore and tired ... i hope my body knows i'm still learning to love it.